LIST: THE WORST FILMS OF 2016

Boy were there some cinematic skidmarks in 2016....Again, my personal choices from the films I saw that had UK cinema releases in the last 12 months, no matter how minimal or brief.

10. BLAIR WITCH
Has found footage developed in the last few years? Amazingly, no; just more of the same. Why didn't they just make a proper film?

9. THE NEON DEMON
Looked nice but thoroughly empty.

8. FROM VEGAS TO MACAU III
Incomprehensible gibberish if you haven't seen the first two. It's incomprehensible gibberish even if you have seen the first two.

7. HIGH-RISE
The most divisive film of the year? I know it's not the accepted wisdom but I got annoyed with it very, very quickly.

6. CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE
Dumb action comedy melange that didn't work, wasn't funny, wasn't exciting, and was a colossal waste of the usually reliable Dwayne Johnson.

5. MISCONDUCT

The silliest big star thriller of the year (Pacino! Hopkins!), possibly the milliennium.

4. LONDON HAS FALLEN
Tasteless, ugly bang-bang with an uncomfortable line in Muslim-bashing and some terrible CGI destructo-porn effects.

3. BATMAN VS SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE
A hundred and fifty minutes of miserable, incoherent nonsense at full volume, with no laughs and no entertainment to be had.

2. GRIMSBY
Sacha Baron Cohen's latest attempt to redefine comedy as "thing that is not funny". Gross, grotesque, and actors like Mark Strong have no excuse.

1. THE GREASY STRANGLER
It made me feel unclean and slightly ill and I wish I hadn't seen it.


Dishonourable mentions (in no particular order) to Shadwell Army (ID2), Yakuza Apocalypse, Ride Along 2, Bastille Day, Criminal, The Assassin (best director at Cannes or not, it bored the daylights out of me), Warcraft, Kill Command, We Are The Flesh and The Call Up.