Monday, 11 August 2014



Nothing to do with Peter Svatek's Sci-Fighters, this is probably the stupidest and most idiotic attempt to fuse the martial arts genre with the multilevel beat-em-up video game, through the medium of very badly thought out virtual reality. Featuring the dazzling fighting talents of about a dozen top martial arts champions, along with the equally dazzling acting talents of precisely nobody (including Cynthia Rothrock and Don "The Dragon" Wilson), it's a film in which absolutely nothing works at all.

Sci-Fighter is a fantastically detailed VR kung-fu game originally conceived as a training simulator for top cops, but its inventor decides to give it to his moody grandson as a birthday present. Unfortunately the kid gets stuck inside the game, and his dad (Don "The Dragon" Wilson) has to go into the game himself and win every level in order to rescue the kid, or be trapped in there forever with him as a sentient computer virus is corrupting the game around them...

It's absolute rubbish, in which the rules of the game are not just incomprehensible but contradictory, to the extent that Wilson even has a dream sequence within the game - and even that's not the stupidest thing on show. Why do they let the machine run down precious battery power when the plug is lying within about six inches of the wall socket? Why does the games inventor not have a set of cheat codes to deactivate all the fighters throughout the game? And why is Cynthia Rothrock (who I generally like but is sadly past her prime here) depicted in the game as well as in reality, and then not given any serious ass-kicking to do? Even the fight scenes, which are usually the saving grace of terrible martial arts films, don’t have any real impact. Pretty worthless.


No comments: